Because I Fell In Love
by Don'tReadMyStories
Summary: This is a songfic for the song "Cute Without The E Cut From The Team" by Taking Back Sunday. Jerome talks about his and Mara's relationship.


I love her. You know?

I love Mara Jaffray.

And I've been trying my hardest to be everything that she wants me to be. But either I'm not good enough or she just doesn't give a sh*t.

_Your lipstick, his collar, don't bother angel  
><em>_I know exactly what goes on_

She's cheating on me. I know it. And she knows that I know it. But neither of us say anything.

_When everything you'll get is  
><em>_Everything that you wanted princess  
><em>_(Well which would you prefer)  
><em>_My finger on the trigger or  
><em>_(Me face down, down across your floor)  
><em>_Me face down, down across your floor  
><em>_(Me face down, down across your floor)  
><em>_Well just so long as this thing's loaded_

Mara knows that I won't break up with her. She has me wrapped around her finger. And that's in no way a good place to be in. I'd die for her. And I've thought about it, in fact-committing suicide, I mean. I play out different scenarios in which I also kill Mara and Mick. Who gives a sh*t?

She's wanted Mick for so long. Of course, she couldn't say anything because Mick belonged to Amber. But, after those two broke up, she took the first chance she could to snatch him for herself. That b*tch. But I love her.

_And will you tell all your friends  
><em>_You've got your gun to my head  
><em>_This all was only wishful thinkin'  
><em>_This all was only wishful thinkin'  
><em>_And will you tell all your friends  
><em>_You've got your gun to my head  
><em>_This all was only wishful thinkin'  
><em>_This all was only wishful thinkin'  
><em>_Let's go_

I try to forget about Mara and Mick. But it's hard to know that your girlfriend is cheating on you. Sometimes, I pretend they're not together. But the memories all come rushing back to me when I see them glance at one another, saying so much with no words.

I am so madly in love with Mara Jaffray. And I hate myself for it. Love is a sh*tty place to be in.

_Don't bother trying to explain angel  
><em>_I know exactly what goes on when you're on and  
><em>_How about I'm outside of your window  
><em>_(How about I'm outside of your window)  
><em>_Watching him keep the details covered  
><em>_You're such a sucker (you're such a sucker)  
><em>_For a sweet talker, yeah_

I hate Mick. I wish we could switch places so I could do to him what he was doing to me. I want to rip his heart out, stomp on it, then put it back in and sew it back up. He's good at that. That's sort of what he did to Amber. What an *sshole he is. Who the f*ck does he think he is-talking to my girl and making her fall head over heels for him?

_And will you tell all your friends  
><em>_You've got your gun to my head  
><em>_This all was only wishful thinkin'  
><em>_This all was only wishful thinkin'  
><em>_(The only thing that I regret is that I, I never let you hold me back)  
><em>_And will you tell all your friends  
><em>_You've got your gun to my head  
><em>_This all was only wishful thinkin'  
><em>_This all was only wishful thinkin'_

I hate that she knows that I won't ever do anything about it. She just tramples all over my feelings and doesn't even give a sh*t. Who does that-especially to someone who really cares about you? What kind of sick f*ck would play with someone's heart like that? I mean, why didn't she stop me when I first began confiding in her or when I asked her on a first date or when I first kissed her? She just led me on…and continues to as if I'm the obedient puppy on the end of her leash.

_Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens  
><em>_A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins  
><em>_I will never ask if you don't ever tell me  
><em>_I know you well enough to know you never loved me  
>(Why can't I feel anything from anyone other than you)<br>__Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens  
><em>_A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins  
><em>_I will never ask if you don't ever tell me  
><em>_I know you well enough to know you never loved me  
>(Why can't I feel anything from anyone other than you)<br>__Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens  
><em>_A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins  
><em>_I will never ask if you don't ever tell me  
><em>_I know you well enough to know_

How dare she make me feel this way about her? How dare she make me fall in love with her and not return the feeling? But, even if I had the chance to go back and change everything, I wouldn't. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. She listens to me. She brings out the best in me.

I mean, I have tried to forget about her. I had a plan to break up with her. Ha ha. That never happened. Once I walked into her room to do it, I fell in love with her all over again. And it gave me an even bigger heartache.

I couldn't love anyone else anyway. It's like she won't let me. But, then again, she never lets me do anything that I want to do. We always have to do everything her way. And I just let her lead me around.

_And all of this was all your fault_  
><em>And all of this <em>

_I stay wrecked and jealous for this  
><em>_For this simple reason I  
><em>_Just need to keep you in mind  
><em>_As something larger than life  
><em>_(She'll destroy us all before she's through)  
><em>_I stay wrecked and jealous for this  
><em>_For this simple reason I  
>(And find a way to blame somebody else)<br>__Just need to keep you in mind  
><em>_As something larger than life  
><em>_(She'll destroy us all before she's through)__  
><em>_I stay wrecked and jealous for this  
><em>_For this simple reason I  
>(And find a way to blame somebody else)<br>__Just need to keep you in mind  
><em>_As something larger than life_

Overall, I guess I'm okay with doing whatever she tells me to do. That's what love's about, right? Well, it is if the feeling isn't mutual. It breaks my heart to know that this relationship isn't going to last long. I mean, c'mon. She has two boyfriends. That's not going to work out in the long run. I don't think she'll choose neither Mick, nor me. I mean, Mick? He's not the type to be in a long relationship. And me? As much as it breaks my heart to know this, obviously there was something wrong with me in the first place or she wouldn't have started cheating on me with Mick.

Maybe she's just looking to have a little fun. Who knows? She knows that she can toss us anytime she's done.

But I'm just going to ride this ride for as long as I can. Yeah, I know: the longer I stay with her-the more empty I'll feel when she leaves me. But it's worth it. You know why?

Because I have fallen in love.


End file.
